


When the Cat's Away...

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 17:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You guys will never guess the epic teenage girl feat that Erin displayed the other night.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Cat's Away...

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the Life Unexpected universe where Dave and Erin are teenagers. I honestly didn’t expect a new story to come to me so quickly but I was happy to see the characters again.

“No.”

“Daddy…”

“No, absolutely not.”

“Daddy…”

“It’s not going to happen.” Erich Strauss shook his head. “I’d stay home before I let it happen.”

“Erich!” his wife exclaimed.

“No Joanna. You cannot tell me that you're even considering this.”

“I never said that but…”

“May I speak?” Erin asked. “May I speak frankly and uninterrupted?”

“Of course you can speak sweetheart.” Joanna put her hand on Erin’s shoulder.

“I want you two to go away and enjoy yourselves. I'm old enough to stay here by myself for a few days. I don’t feel comfortable being alone at night in case of emergency as I still don’t have the full use of my legs. That’s why I suggested Dave stay over too. Daddy, stop, let me finish please.”

Erich clamped his lips shut and crossed his arms. He didn’t want to hear it but the faster he let Erin speak the faster he could shut it down. It would happen over his dead body. He might not even let it happen then.

“Here's the frank part of the discussion. Dave and I are not having sex. We’re not going to start having sex because we’re suddenly home alone. He’ll be here to keep me company and have some fun on a three day weekend, that’s all. He’s my boyfriend so I won't even lie and tell you we don’t kiss and cuddle, we do. But he can sleep in the guest room if it makes you guys more comfortable. I've never lied to you before and I have no reason to now. If I really wanted clandestine times with my boyfriend I wouldn’t have to wait until you two left town.”

“Are you done?” her father asked.

“Yes.” Erin nodded and drank her iced tea.

“I don’t like it.”

“I know you don’t.”

“Why couldn’t Ursula or Elizabeth stay with you?” Erich asked.

“Our schedules this year are really insane, Daddy. We mostly see each other in school. This is a three day weekend and I don't want my friends to feel like they're being burdened with babysitting me. Nothing is going to happen with Dave here other than I get to have some fun and also feel safe and secure in case of emergency.”

“I don’t trust him.” Erich shook his head.

“Why not?” Erin asked.

Her father could hear it in her tone; she was about to turn into him. He didn’t want to fight; he never wanted to fight with Erin. But this wasn’t about getting a bike or her cell phone bill being too high. This was something else altogether and Erich was going to make his word law on this.

“He's a 19 year old boy Erin, and you're my little girl. You may not like it but you still are. I've conceded to a lot of points where this entire relationship is concerned. Why should I concede on this?”

“OK, fine, you don’t trust David. I'm going to push aside my feelings about that and try to see where you're coming from. But I know you trust me Daddy. Nothing is going to happen while you're gone. You and Mum deserve this time away. I've hindered you enough.”

“You're not a hindrance.” Joanna said. “You’ve never been that and never will be Erin.”

“I still know you need time away alone. You managed to get away for July 4th but other than that you haven’t had time to yourselves since last Thanksgiving.”

“You're not going to mind having some alone time with David Rossi either.” Her mother said.

“No comment.” Erin hated the heat that rushed over her face.

“Joanna.” Erich looked at his wife. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

“I trust Erin and will do my best to trust David. He’s cordial, kind, and so far everything has been fine with the progression of this relationship. She’s your little girl, yes, but she’s always been responsible. This is a bit of a different request, I’ll admit, but one thing I do know. If something happens I’ll be glad to know Dave is here to get Erin to safety.”

Erich sighed. Erin knew all of her father’s facial expression and this one said he was deep in thought. He sighed again, running his fingers through his salt and pepper hair.

“Erin?”

“Yes Daddy?”

“I’ll kill him, do you understand me?”

“Yes Daddy.” She nodded.

“I'm trying to like Dave. Everything your mother said about him is true. It's clear to me that he is both fond and respectful of you. If I do agree to this then he has to sleep in the guest room…no exceptions.”

“Oh absolutely.” Erin nodded again.

“I trust you sweetheart, it’s just…”

“I'm a girl and he's not.”

“Exactly.” Erich pointed at her.

“I don’t mind being honest with you guys about our relationship. We’re not having sex and we won't while you're away. I'm just looking forward to spending some time with him because our schedules make it hard to see each other as much as we would like.”

“You talk to him practically every night on the phone.” Joanna said.

“And it’s wonderful but surely not the same as seeing him.” Erin replied.

“We do trust you Erin. I feel a lot better knowing you won't be here alone while we’re gone. I’m going to worry anyway but I'm willing to agree to David staying if your father agrees to it.”

“I’ll agree to it.” Erich mumbled. “But there may, or may not, be a surprise visit from Uncle Mike or Aunt Constance while we’re gone.”

“OK.”

“And don’t eat too much junk food while we’re away.” Joanna said. “I'm going to leave two meals in the fridge but the rest of the weekend will be up to you.”

“I’ll be OK Mum.” Erin did her best not to smile as she thought of pizza and Coke. She was even more excited thinking about four days and four nights alone with Dave. If they didn’t end up driving each other bonkers this might be the next big step in their relationship.

***

“Look Ma, no hands.” Ursula laughed as she and Erin walked over to their lunch table. Since Erin was still on crutches, Ursula carried both lunch trays. There was an awkward moment when they saw Karen in the line and she almost got Ursula’s lunch all over her uniform but Erin was able to pull her friend down from the ledge. “You guys will never guess the epic teenage girl feat that Erin displayed the other night.”

“If we’re never going to guess than you should just tell us.” Elizabeth looked up from her Spanish study book.

Sarah Morgan was sitting in the fourth chair at their table. Erin and Ursula liked Sarah…everyone liked Sarah. She was smart and friendly. She was a powerhouse on the field hockey team, worked on the Yearbook committee and the literary magazine The Wheel, and was currently neck and neck with Erin for valedictorian. Sarah had no allegiance to any clique. She was a girl of the people; welcome at damn near any lunch table in the Chapin cafeteria. 

Her random announcement to seek the Student Government presidency one morning in Political Science class was what got Elizabeth’s attention. She wanted it for herself and planned to let no one stand in her way. There was one thing Sarah Morgan had that she did not. Sarah was a people person. 

Having a person like that in your corner was always an advantage. There was the added bonus of Elizabeth actually being able to tolerate her. She didn’t tolerate a lot of people. So Elizabeth formed an alliance. 

They would run together on the first ever Chapin ticket. Elizabeth would be President, Sarah Vice-President, and they would back each other voraciously. So far it was working out. It looked as if their differences complimented each other.

“My parents are going away for the long holiday weekend. It’s been so long because since I had my accident they’ve wanted to be with me. They didn’t like the idea of my being alone since I can't run or do stairs well in case of emergency. So I suggested Dave stay with me, and after a family powwow they actually agreed.”

“Wait, you suggested your boyfriend stay with you while your parents are away and they said yes?” Sarah asked.

“Mmm hmm.” Erin nodded.

“Wow.”

“Say something Liddy.” Ursula said.

“I would but I'm dumbfounded. My parents probably wouldn’t even go for that and they're pretty lax when it comes to Tom and I. Lax is never a word I would use to describe Erich Strauss.”

“C'mon guys, my dad is not that bad.”

“Your dad is awesome.” Ursula said. “He's just unwavering in his Erich-ness. How did you possibly pull this off?”

“I was honest with them.” Erin replied.

“What are the parameters of honesty for the sake of this conversation?” Elizabeth asked.

“Honesty is just honesty, Liddy. I told them that Dave and I aren’t having sex and we’re not going to start because we’re suddenly home alone. I also told them that Dave would sleep in the guestroom while he stayed with us.”

“Is that honest?” Sarah asked.

“Probably not, but he’ll have to sleep in there at least one night. I don't know how my dad would do it but I bet he can measure mattress dents to see if two people were sleeping in my bed as opposed to none in the guestroom. Dave will like it…it’s a Sleep Number bed.”

“I'm going to ask my parents if Tom can stay over on Saturday night.” Elizabeth said. “They're off to some function or other.”

“You can't just let Erin have her moment, can you?” Ursula asked.

“This isn’t about Erin’s moment, which is a great moment sweetie.”

“Thank you.” Erin said.

“This is about more things that I can get away with. My parents go away a lot. Tom stays with me of course but imagine if it was endorsed.”

“I'm not officially dating anyone at the moment but if I was he wouldn’t be staying over.” Sarah said. “My mother is quite strict about that.”

“So are my parents usually.” Erin ate her grilled chicken salad. “I have to say that I planned to throw the Dave rock out there but fully expected to be shut down. Even with honesty I didn’t think they were going to go for it. I'm floored too.”

“So it’s this weekend?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes. They leave on Thursday evening and come back early Monday evening.”

“Where are they headed?” Sarah asked.

“Mum’s friend has a vacation home in East Hampton. With the insanity of the summer over they're going there for some peace, quiet, and surely a little romance.”

“Please don’t talk about your parents having sex.” Ursula covered her ears.

“My parents have plenty of sex.” Elizabeth said in a matter of fact tone. “They don’t particularly care if I hear or not. It’s not taboo in my house. It was Mother who gave me my first copy of _The Joy of Sex_ when she sat me down for the talk at 15. She didn’t recommend I do it, she just recommended that I know my body because no one would ever know it as well as I did.”

“Eww.” Ursula shook her head. “My parents totally do not have sex.”

“So you think.” Erin said. “Mine do but there's enough distance between our bedrooms that I don’t often hear them. But I've heard them before.”

“I'm traumatized.” Ursula laid her head on the table.

“What about your parents, Sarah?” Elizabeth asked.

“My father died years ago and my mom never remarried. I definitely don’t want to think about her having sex. Oh God.”

They all laughed, Ursula’s head still on the table. 

“Its going to take me days to shake this conversation from my head.” Erin said.

“Days,” Ursula mumbled. “I'm thinking more like months. I may never look at my parents the same again.”

***

Dave arrived at the condo at 6:30 on Thursday evening. He had a duffle bag with him, smiling when Erich opened the door.

“Good evening Dr. Strauss. How are you?”

“I'm well Dave, c'mon in. How is work at the stable?”

“It’s really good. My volunteer work is done as of December 31st but Mike is going to allow me to stay on, paid, until I start school in the fall.”

“Oh that’s good news.” Erich said.

“Yes sir. Good evening, Mrs. Strauss.”

“Hello David. How are you?”

“Good ma'am; thank you.”

He smiled at Erin and she smiled back but they didn’t speak.

“Do you kids have any plans for the long weekend?” Erich asked.

“We’re probably just going to hang out.” Dave replied. “Maybe we’ll spend some time exploring the city and I know Erin’s going to want to go to The Met. Nothing special I don’t think.”

‘That sounds about right.” Erin was still smiling.

“Well we’re going to head out because it’s a two hour drive to East Hampton. David lets have a word.”

“Oh yes sir.” Dave nodded. Erich started walking to the den and the teenager followed.

Erin looked at her mother; Joanna put on a smile.

“What do you think he's saying to him?’ she asked.

“I honestly don’t know. He told me that he was going to talk to him and I told him not to be mean. I'm sure it’s a conversation about what body parts of his better not touch specific body parts of yours.”

“Oh God Mum, I hope not.”

“Well you asked sweetheart.” She put her hand on Erin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry; I'm sure everything is fine.”

Erin was a little worried but she put on a happy face. Her parents had agreed to let Dave stay there for four days and four nights. She knew there would be rules and regulations. Erin just never expected them to disappear behind a closed door. 

She had to sit and wait for them to come out. It didn’t take too long though it surely felt like forever. Erin checked Dave’s face for any signs. He looked normal and so did her father. Erin and her mother stood; they all started walking to the front door.

“If you need anything sweetheart, just call me.” Joanna said.

“I will Mum.” 

She hugged both of her parents and Erich kissed her.

“Have a nice weekend and make sure you're not late for school in the morning.”

“I'm never late for school.”

“I know that but I'm Daddy so I had to say it anyway.”

“Have a safe trip.” Dave said as the Strausses walked out the door.

“Have a nice weekend, David.” Joanna replied.

With those parting words and some blown kisses, Erin closed and locked the door. She leaned on it and looked at Dave.

“What did my…?”

“Uh uh.” Dave shook his head as he moved closer and put his finger on her lips. “No more conversation without a hello kiss. Its bad luck.”

“Bad luck huh?” Erin raised her eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, it’s true. Look it up.”

Smiling, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a breathless kiss. Dave’s arms went around her waist. He surrendered, letting Erin take control of the kiss. He knew she liked that. If she liked it, he loved it.

“Hello.” Erin smiled when their lips came apart.

“Hi there pretty baby.” Dave kissed her again.

“Did my father intimidate you?”

“One more kiss.”

“David…”

He smiled and kissed her once more. Then they went into the kitchen. Erin sat down at the table while Dave grabbed a cranapple juice from the refrigerator.

“You're not going to tell me what he said, are you?”

“Don’t you think if he wanted you to hear it he would've said it in front of you?” Dave asked.

“I just…I won't be comfortable thinking he said something intimidating or cruel to you.”

“He didn’t. If I had a sixteen year old daughter and was leaving her with her 19 year old recovering juvenile delinquent boyfriend I probably wouldn’t have been as cordial. Two thumbs up on telling them we’re not under any circumstances having sex.”

“Oh my God,” Erin covered her face and flushed cheeks. “He told you I said that?”

“Yeah.” Dave nodded. “He trusts you of course but wanted my confirmation that it was true. I told him that it was.”

“There went my plans for a full on seduction.” She smiled.

“You're a bad girl, Erin Strauss.”

“And I'm good at it too.”

“Have you had dinner? I know its probably going to be an early night with school in the morning.”

“I had dinner.” Erin nodded. “I need to finish up some homework so um…”

“You do your homework and I’ll get settled in the guestroom. Don’t worry; I can look after myself for a little while. I'm not a guest Erin; you don’t have to entertain me.”

She nodded and smiled again. Getting up from the chair, Erin started walking to the bedroom. Dave went to the living room for his duffle bag before making his way to the guestroom. Erich Strauss had been relatively cordial when he pulled him into the den. Dave was nervous but pretended not to be.

“ _David, I have to be honest with you.”_

_“Yes sir.” Dave nodded._

_“I don’t trust you. Now that’s not because of your background, I need to say that. I'm surely not concerned that my wife and I will return to find our television missing.”_

_“I'm glad of that sir.”_

_“I just don’t want my house turned into a love shack while we’re away. I know that you and Erin are quite fond of each other. I also know that at your age hormones are a little out of control. I too was a teenager once. There will, under no circumstances, be sex in my house with my daughter.”_

_“Yes sir.” Dave nodded._

_“Erin told me that you two haven’t yet had sex. I trust my daughter David but I'm going to ask you. Have you and Erin had sex?”_

_“No sir.”_

_“Is having sex with Erin on your mind?” Erich asked._

_“I don’t think I should be punished for thoughts I might have, Dr. Strauss.”_

_“Fair enough.”_

_“Erin is safe with me, sir. I have no intentions of taking advantage of her. I'm here because she asked me to stay with her while you and her mother went away. All that matters to me is that she feels safe and secure and that you and Mrs. Strauss don’t worry about her while you're trying to enjoy some time away.”_

_“I'm going to ask you to sleep in the guestroom. It has everything you'll need to be comfortable.”_

_“Yes sir.” Dave nodded._

_Erich extended his hand. “I'm glad we had this conversation, David.”_

_“So am I sir. I hope you and your wife have a nice time away.” Dave shook his hand._

_“Thank you. Now let’s get back out there before Erin worries herself bald.”_

_“She knows I can handle myself, Dr. Strauss.” He managed a smile._

_“You are quite fond of her, aren’t you?”_

_Dave looked at Erich Strauss. He knew how much the man loved his daughter. He’d been nicer to Dave than expected despite whatever might be in the back of his head._

_“I'm crazy about her sir. That’s the honest truth. Erin is amazing and I don’t know what I did to deserve her but I'm thanking my lucky stars.”_

_Erich nodded and they headed back into the living room_. 

Dave poked his head into Erin’s room.

“Just let me know when you're finished.” He said. “We can watch a little TV or something before bed.”

“I will.” She looked up from her workbook and smiled. “What are you going to do to pass the time?”

“There's a great TV in the guestroom. Plus I have my PS2 and the new Vince Flynn novel. I'm good. Don’t rush through your homework.”

“OK.” Erin nodded and went back to it.

Dave watched her for a few minutes and then went back to the guestroom.

***

“You're a bad girl.” Dave said.

He'd just walked back into the guestroom after brushing his teeth. The last thing he expected was to see Erin relaxing between his sheets. Seriously, Dave was a little dumbfounded. Luckily he found his voice, and his smile was instinctual in her presence.

“If you ask nicely David Rossi, I’ll be very bad.”

“Erin…” he smiled. “What are you wearing under that blanket?”

“If you want to know then you’ll have to come and see. Those are the rules.”

“Your father is going to kill me.”

“Why? What did you promise him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that.”

“We don’t need to talk at all. Come to bed, you're going to love it. It’s a Sleep Number bed.”

“Are you serious?”

“Mmm hmm.” Erin nodded.

Damn, she had an angel’s smile. Dave knew they weren't going all the way…he didn’t even have it on his mind. But there were over 101 stops on the baseball metaphor express. He was quite well versed in some of them. His girlfriend was no slouch, she was as well. 

There was school in the morning so he didn’t want to keep her up too late. Still, there would always be room for loving. Nothing would make him believe any differently. Grinning, Dave walked over to the bed and climbed under the blanket. His smile grew when he realized all Erin had on was a pair of silk boxer shorts.

“You might be the death of me, woman.” he kissed her. “What do you have to say about that?”

“Turn out the light, David.”

***


End file.
